Quitely
by CodyRhodesFan
Summary: FOURSHOT. Jeff and CM Punk had been dating. Jeff wants Punk to be his first but after a sexual assault, Punk feels unable to make love to Jeff. Jeff takes the wrong message…but Punk doesn’t want him to know that Matt raped him. SLASH Punk/Jeff. COMPLETE.
1. Part One: It Hurts

**This was an attempt at making a dark Junk fic for **_**xRey'sAngel**_** and I just hope she likes. She's one of my fwiends. Awesome sweetheart. Go check out her fics. And be jealous.**

Quietly  
Rated: +18 – darkness; angst; dark  
Summary: FOURSHOT. Jeff and CM Punk had been dating for two years now. Jeff wants Punk to be his first but after a sexual assault, Punk feels unable to make love to Jeff when it's time. And Jeff takes the wrong message…but Punk doesn't want him to know that Jeff's brother had sexually assaulted him. Jeff/Punk SLASH.  
Genre: Angst/General

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**Part One: It Hurts**

_He's standing outside the arena._

Punk's head was pounding and pounding and pounding with pain and agony and desolation as he walked towards outside of the arena, towards his car, settling his black duffel bag on the shiny surface of his car and Punk was taken by his wrist, thrown on the floor and his head was burning at the core of his brain and all he could think about was Jeff, his beautiful Jeff, his sweet Jeff, all alone at his hotel room, waiting for him and Punk was punched into the stomach as he looked into the brown eyes of Matt's eyes—

Those eyes that reflected his so very much.

_He's outside of his own heart, too._

Matt tackled Punk's lips and Punk could feel a fire spark in his body as Punk tried to get out of the parking lot and before Punk could say anything, Matt had ripped Punk's black t-shirt off and Punk could seriously feel the coldness of the road as his hot, fierce body pressed against the too cold road and his body was burning on the inside and he can't hear another word and he felt like the coldness was burning him even more on the inside as he let the tired tears burn at his eyes.

"Stop!"

In moments, just moments, Punk's clothes were ripped and Punk laid there on the floor of the cold road, with no one still around but him and Matt, Punk's heart was thudding as hard as ever and he knew that this would end quickly but his heart was beating so fast in his head that it felt like eternity and Matt whispered that simple word in Punk's ear as his body pressed against Punk's, "slut. You're a slut, Punk, aren't you? Then touch me."

Punk reached out and takes Matt's cock in his hands, gripping as tight as ever as Punk was ready to let the tears spill when Matt shoved himself in Punk's mouth and Punk had to suck on and right then, he truly felt like he was betraying Jeff for he touched anyone like this since he'd fallen for Jeff and he didn't want to be anyone's slut anymore as Matt gripped tight onto a mass of Punk's black strands, "you slut, do this right!"

_He's bleeding on the inside and he can't stop himself._

Punk fastened, sucking as hard as ever, as his tears fell freely from his face and God, he felt like he was burning to nothingness and when he felt Matt come inside of Punk's mouth, that was when he pushed away, and Matt slammed him hard on the floor, forcing Punk to swallow the fluid in his mouth and Punk took a deep breath, smelling the quick scent of air before Matt positioned himself close to Punk, gripping onto Punk's own cock while he pushed inside of him, as hard as ever, and Punk let out a scream, knowing that no one could hear him. "A screamer, aren't you, you slutty, slutty boy?"

_He's crying on the inside and no one cares._

Matt pushed as hard as he could, finally making Punk feel like his brain was going out and as his slow and hard thrusts became faster but still painful, Punk just wished that it will all be over as Matt kissed him, a hard kiss that made Punk want to spit in his mouth but he didn't because truthfully, he just wanted to go home and curl up to Jeff, he just wanted to be in Jeff's arms and now, as the fire faded, there was nothing left in Punk's body. Just nothing. Ashes and ashes of nothing.

_He's so hurt and he can't fix himself._

"Don't you dare tell anyone about this, bitch."

Matt left and soon after he left, Punk pressed his body against the cold road even harder, the parking lot or driving lot or whatever they called it since he can't really think was still empty and it was too late and Punk took his black pants, the thick fabric not comforting his sticky sweaty legs and he looked for another t-shirt since Matt had practically ripped his and he put the ripped one in a bag. If anyone found it, there would be questions and Punk just wanted to go home right now and as he took his duffel bag, and pulled himself in the driver's seat and looked out into the blackness of the world around him.

He feels like the world's changed around him and he doesn't know how to explain the betrayal that's in him.

_He's so in pain._

_He's so hurt._

Punk drove towards Jeff's and his' hotel and as he knocked on the door, Jeff opened it with concerned and inquisitive eyes, "where were you, Phil?"

Punk didn't answer. He just walked inside and flopped on the bed, completely and utterly tired and every time he moved, a piece of his muscle was bending to make him ache as hard as ever.

"I just feel a little sick but it'll pass," Punk responded as Jeff laid on the bed and pressed his head towards Punk's chest, feeling Punk's heartbeat and Punk can only feel one thing right now…

Hollow.

_Empty_.

"Phil? Where were you?" Jeff responded, pressing Punk's body towards his body, so that they were both warmed by their body temperature.

"Just went out for a walk. I felt kinda sick so I came back home." Punk lied, trying to sound as genuine and sincere as possible and Jeff nodded his head and pressed his head on Punk's shoulder, and normally, Punk would feel at ease.

But-but he wasn't.

_Just so much pain._

"Phil?"

Punk snapped back into reality, as Jeff cupped his hand on Punk's cheek, kissing Punk's forehead. "I can't wait until I get to touch you tomorrow. I want you to be the first and only guy I touch, Punk."

To Jeff, this was important and that made Punk feel sick knowing that he can't be as pure as Jeff. He wanted to save himself for something special and he saved himself for a slut that would just go around sleeping with people and that was the only way to deal with the pain and agony of thinking that no one would love him just as he was and when he found Jeff, he felt complete and so did Jeff.

And now, Punk couldn't let Jeff sleep with him.

The vivid images of Matt's rape were still in his head. The pain of it all. The emptiness that he was feeling inside right now. He just wanted it all to go away but he can't really understand all of this. How the world was just painted in black when Matt had done what he did to him, when suddenly, the colors were all faded and he felt sick inside.

_It's all go away. It has to._

He can't disappoint Jeff tomorrow and he can't tell Jeff that his brother, his loving brother, his Matt, had held him down onto the pairing lot and had screwed around with him as hard as he could've and he had called him a slut. That word had hurt him for so long and coming from someone that Jeff looked up to…

_It hurts. It hurts. It hurts._

In the middle of Jeff's sleep, Punk gripped onto Jeff's body and pressed his head against Punk's chest and he cried, he cried and sobbed into Jeff's chest as the vivid images replayed and replayed into his head. A nightmare.

_It hurts!_

Jeff woke up and shook Punk's shoulders, staring straight at Punk's eyes as tears spilled from his eyes, and Punk wiped his own tears away before Jeff could do so even if he wanted Jeff to wipe away his tears, wanted to feel Jeff's loving, gentle touch, wiping away those tears of horror and terror and fear of Matt.

"Philly?"

He hated that nickname but he didn't care right now.

"Phil?"

"…I'm sorry, Jeff. I just had a nightmare."

Jeff wrapped his arms around Punk and pulled him closer, letting Punk put his head on Jeff's chest as both slept but Punk didn't know how to tell Jeff that he didn't want Jeff to fuck him tomorrow. It would be so hard to tell him that but harder for Jeff if Punk would just start crying during sex and Jeff would be put off sex forever and Punk…Punk just wished that this didn't happen because—

Because—

_It hurts… _

_

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_**How is it until now? Should I continue this fourshot? Hope you like it until,_ xRey'sAngel_! Hope I got your penname right.  
**

**X Sam.**


	2. Part Two: He Feels Dead

**Thanks for the positive responses. Here's the next part. I know I love torturing Punk too much but he's too cute. :P**

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****Part Two: He Feels Dead**

_Beep, beep, beep, beep…_

Punk grunted as the instant rhythm played in his head and he let his hand try and look for the snooze button and he threw the clock in the near bin but that sound still rang in his head as he rolled to his side and groaned and he knew that his head was already pounding and he didn't need that stupid alarm clock making it worse and he stepped out of bed, taking the clock in his hands and smashing it to the floor. He rubbed his eyes and noticed how red and puffy they were…had he been crying in his sleep? He ran his hand through his black hair and walked towards the shower, the hot water burning and sinking in his skin and the nausea burned.

_He's still in pain._

The thick black cloth of his clothing pressed against his soaked body as he walked outside of the shower, still dizzy but only because of the heat of the water that had smothered his nose all too much as he stepped out to see Jeff grinning at him and God, he knew how important, just completely important, today was to Jeff and he didn't know if he could just tell him that he couldn't do it. His chest tightened as he memorized that stretched, smeared smile on Jeff's face.

"Tonight, Phil, I'm gonna make you scream."

Punk just froze in his place.

"_A screamer, aren't you, you slutty, slutty boy?"_

He shook his head and nodded, trying to seem enthusiastic on Jeff's behalf but he couldn't. He just couldn't. He didn't think he could have sex with anything this soon but he didn't want to tell Jeff those words that would just break and crack his heart. _Matt raped me_. He didn't think he could hurt Jeff like that.

"You're going out today?" Jeff asked and Punk was just glad that he didn't notice that Punk was tense, too tense for his own good as Punk walked towards Jeff and flopped onto the bed and Jeff leaned down towards Punk's mouth, pressing his lips against his and—

_Matt tackled Punk's lips and Punk could feel a fire spark in his body as Punk tried to get out of the parking lot and before Punk could say anything, Matt had ripped Punk's black t-shirt off_

—and Punk found not to throw up.

_It's Jeff. It's Jeff. It's Jeff. It's Jeff._

Jeff pulled back and Punk was just happy that he had kissed back even if he felt nauseous still and Jeff brushed his hand against Punk's cheek and it was such a soft and delicate touch and Jeff blinked. "Phil? Baby? What's wrong? You seem sick. Are you still sick from last night?"

Jeff stood up and walked towards the fridge, opening it up and taking a tiny white box from the interior, walking back towards Punk who hadn't moved an inch, and Jeff took a pill out of the tiny box, giving it to Punk who had eaten in it mere seconds. "Man, that must be some headache then."

Punk nodded his head. "Yeah, it is."

Punk let a hand glide on Jeff's hip as Jeff's grin reappeared and Punk knew that Jeff liked it when he touched him in any way and before Punk could say anything else, Jeff stood up and walked to get the remote, flickering channels until he got towards a sappy romance story that both had already watched a time ago and Jeff took the pillows, lifting Punk's head and placing him back through the fluffy pillows, Jeff wasn't even inches apart, he was close and he let the blankets cover their bodies.

Punk just couldn't tell him. He can't hurt Jeff. And he can't disappoint him tonight. Can't he push the thoughts off? Can't he think of anything else? Everything he thought of led to last night and that made Punk sick inside but he was just glad that the headache was gone by now and he watched Jeff, looking straight at his beautiful face, that beautiful bloated tan face and those soft, delicate green eyes and—

He still can't do it.

_He still doesn't know why he can't breathe._

Jeff pressed his body against Punk's and as night fell, he kissed the top of Punk's forehead, ready to touch and make his boyfriend moan, ready to show him just how much he loved him and as Jeff kissed Punk's neck, Punk tried not to run off into the bathroom right now and drop to his knees and shake. "Still have that headache?"

"No, I'm fine now," Punk just couldn't lie to Jeff. He loved him too much for even the simplest lies and Jeff closed the TV, taking off their blanket and Punk closed his eyes as Jeff ran his hand through Punk's back, feeling the flesh underneath the cloth and he wanted to touch that flesh. He wanted to breathe in it. He wanted Punk.

Punk was trying hard to think of Jeff. _Jeff's doing this. Jeff loves me. Jeff's not going to hurt me_. But it wasn't working and as Jeff slowly took off Punk's t-shirt, kissing his shoulder, Punk couldn't take it anymore. He started shaking and shivering. His thoughts were trying to be on Jeff but they always flashed to Matt. Always. _This isn't fucking fair_.

"Phil?" Jeff asked in worry. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong," Punk responded, taking a thick mass of his hair, ready to rip it out of his head.

"There's something wrong…why are you so scared? I'm not going to hurt you, Phil! You know that!"

Punk didn't say anything else. Overwhelmed by thoughts of pain and agony, he bit down at his lower lip, as Jeff continued to talk. "You don't want me to touch you." A stab inside of Punk's heart. He did want to but at the same time, he can't tell Jeff that Matt was any different than Jeff was thought that he was. "You hate me, don't you? I disgust you. I just don't understand."

"No, Jeff…I—I don't hate you." He tried to respond, trying to steady himself and trying to forget but he can't. He just can't.

"Why won't you let me fuck you?" he knew that this was a big deal to Jeff because after all, he was a virgin at thirty-two and was waiting for just the right one and now, Punk, the almighty slut that everyone once fucked, was stepping out of this. And it seemed to be from no apparent reason.

_Tell him. Tell him. Tell him. _

No, he can't. He can't.

"Don't you love me anymore? Do I disgust you?" Jeff's voice was cracking as he stood up, pain overtaking Jeff's eyes and Punk stared at him, horrified of that as he shook his head, trying to make Jeff think otherwise.

"I love you, Jeff! I really do!"

"How come I don't get to touch you but every other guy in the locker room gets to have a taste of you?"

That hurt. That hurt. That hurt too much.

Punk was burning on the inside but seeing it from Jeff's point of view, he would've done the same thing and it was his fault, wasn't it? He wasn't going to tell him the truth because he couldn't and he seemed to hate Jeff's touch when he didn't. He just couldn't handle it right now.

"Jeff, don't talk like that…"

"Phil, tell me why."

"I…I…" Punk stammered and stuttered, trying to come up with another explanation as he took a pillow and pressed it against his chest and his eyes were shut as tight as ever, "I…"

He had to say it. Right now.

"Matt raped me, Jeff."

Jeff's eye twitched and for a moment, Punk thought that all was peaceful and calm as ever as he slowly opened his head as Jeff slapped him and that shook Punk awake.

"Jeff…?"

"LIAR! Matt would never do anything like that!" Jeff walked towards the bathroom, leaving Punk alone in shock as he touched that reddened spot in which his Jeff had hit him, _his_ Jeff, the one who he wouldn't hurt outside of the ring no matter what, had slapped him and now, alone on his bed, he tried to understand.

Jeff had stepped out of the bathroom, walking towards Punk and there was a smirk on his face. "You don't want to tell me the truth, do you, Punk? You don't want to tell me why you hate me, do you?"

"Jeff?"

Jeff ripped Punk's pants, alerting Punk more than ever, as Jeff took off his own clothing in moments but it felt like an eternity and instead of a happy Punk, he was horrified. Completely and utterly horrified and terrified of all of this. Jeff kissed Punk's mouth, and instead of a passionate kiss, it was rough and that made Punk choke on the inside as Jeff grabbed onto Punk's cock, gripping tight and Punk could feel Jeff's semi-hard cock against Punk's back before Jeff stuck his finger inside of Punk, making Punk shake even harder, moaning and paining. "Stop, Jeff!"

Jeff kissed Punk's shoulder, feeling the sweat of Punk's shoulder. "STOP!"

Jeff pushed inside of Punk, causing him to scream as Punk started hitting around, trying to make him stop but after the first few attempts, he realized that he couldn't and started to tire down as Jeff pulled out of Punk, pushing in and out of him as hard as possible and in the middle of it all, Punk had let out a hard punch in Jeff's stomach but Jeff didn't stop. "Aren't you human?! LEAVE ME ALONE, JEFF!" his throat was aching with pain and agony as Jeff grabbed onto Punk's cock again.

"I want you to come for me."

"Never, bitch."

Jeff pushed even harder this time, making Punk do what Jeff had just told him to do, laughing as Jeff came inside of Punk as well, both were tired and out of touch as Punk pushed Jeff away from him, taking a blanket and covering himself, he shook with horror in his eyes and mind. Did his Jeff just hurt him in the same way Matt did? It was just too much for Punk to comprehend.

He tried to move away but he was in so much pain, his muscles just burning every time he moved.

_But he knows what he has to do now._

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That morning as Jeff arose, he felt as if he was waking up from a nightmare as the guilt of last night overtook him in his nightmares. He can't believe that he'd done what he'd done. There was a solid piece of anger at himself and guilt and shame and disgrace in Jeff's body. He needed to apologize to Punk right now. He couldn't hurt Punk like this and he'd do anything for an apology from Punk.

He stood up and looked around for a sign of Punk. He looked through his cell phone but found no traces of any of Punk's calls. Two from Matt and one from his father. But no Punk. He checked inside of the bathroom but no Punk.

He walked back towards the room and found a note from Punk tucked on the bed.

_Jeff, I can't stand here and be hurt like this all the time. I'm sorry. It's over. –Phil _

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	3. Part Three: Where Are You, Baby?

**Yes, everyone was shocked that Jeff raped Punk and frankly, I was too when I first wrote it. When I looked over it, I wanted that touch of darkness only I can make. ;)**** To _xRey'sAngel_, yes, I took it to heart when you said you liked it dark.**

**Here's more of my darkness.**

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****Part Three: Where Are You, Baby?**

From when he'd found out that Punk was gone until now, all that Jeff did was try and look for Punk.

Guilt ridden, shameful faced, all he could remember from that night truthfully was that he had been on cocaine but as bits and pieces of that night overtook Jeff's head, his stomach tightened and he wanted to make it all up to Punk, he'd do anything as long as Punk took him back, as long as Punk even glanced at him once and thought about them having a second chance again.

He'd do anything.

He stepped inside of his brother's hotel room and kicked his duffel bag on the floor, throwing it on the table and stepping inside with a sweet smile as he slammed the door behind him. "Matt, can I use your phone?" Jeff asked, stepping inside as the elder Hardy nodded his head.

Jeff couldn't stand being in the same room around him anymore. It was like he almost believed Punk's words.

It sounded like Punk just wanted to get out of last night when he'd told him that he was raped by Matt and that was all that Jeff had seen. He'd seen Punk that was trying to get out of this all.

He could remembered how traumatized Punk acted when he'd walked in, how tired and sore he was and it seemed so possible that it might've happened…but Matt would never do that! He can't! He won't! He-he-

"Jeff? You've been standing there with the phone in your hand for ten minutes." Matt snapped him out of this horrid trance he was in and Jeff held his forehead to prevent his head from exploding.

Jeff put the phone on the table for a moment to take a deep breath before he'd called Punk's cell but he wouldn't answer and he proceeded to call the police to look for Punk, just saying his name was enough for them and he slammed the phone back on the table after he was done, frustrated with what he had done, disgrace and shame burning into his empty body, igniting a fire with their vicious fuel and he deserved it. He really deserved it. When he felt Matt's hand on his shoulder, Jeff looked back.

"What's going on?" Matt asked, his voice was slightly concerned on Jeff's behalf and Jeff knew it was because of how he looked and felt. He looked as pale as ever, with those shameful green eyes looking back at him and he needed to fix this. Punk was out there, doing God knows what, hurting himself, over and over, and Jeff needed to get there, quick and save him and even if Punk wouldn't take him back, he had to know that Punk was fine. That he was okay.

"Punk told me that-that you raped him and I was high—I didn't know what I was doing. I-I just raped him as hard as I could have. The poor thing was torn to pieces. I couldn't believe that I could do anything like that…" Jeff whispered, trying to recall the fuzzy pictures in his head and they still hurt and the bitterness ran down his aching throat.

"Well, that slut was right."

Jeff spun around, soft green eyes hardened and he was ready to drop dead on the floor and his heart was basically ready to burst out of his chest _and-and-he can't believe that he didn't listen to Punk_. "You-you raped my Philly? _My_ Phil?"

"Yes, yes, I did and if I knew that he was just gonna sit there, I wouldn't have bothered." Matt shook his head and the shock and gain was replaced by the anger and the guilt blazed through their bodies.

Jeff punched Matt's stomach as hard as he could've. "I won't believe you!"

Jeff continued to throw punches at Matt's stomach and he didn't care how hard they were because he truthfully felt as if Matt deserved every one of them but Matt pushed Jeff aside, causing him to land on the tiny glass table, cutting his flesh in pieces and he couldn't fight anymore and the pain…he embraced it. He deserved it. He stood up, letting the pieces of glass fall from his flesh as he stared at Matt coldly before walking out. He stood in the hallway, frozen before he ran. He ran as quickly as he could have and as he surged out of the hotel, he stood, panting, panting and panting and he leaned down towards the road, ready to violently throw up on the side walk and he did but he didn't care.

_Phil. Phil. Phil._

He had to look for Punk and those green eyes scanned the streets around him as he tried to think of anything, anything, anything other than Punk but he couldn't and he knew that he deserved the guilt. He deserved the pain, the stabbing agony that was burning inside of his body.

"Punk?!"

He was searching all throughout the streets, looking through every store he could look in, searching everywhere he could've and by the time that he had decided to give it, it was 4 o'clock in the morning and the only reason he stopped was because he was too tired to move away as he held the cold pole of the road, slipping silently, his head on the pole as he bled and bled and bled and he passed by the sympathetic and compassionate looks of everyone but he didn't need them.

He was a rapist.

He deserved to go to jail.

Maybe he was the one who needed to go to the police station, maybe he needed to turn himself in and maybe then, he could rot in the ocean of his own guilt but before all this, all he needed to do was look at Punk's face one more time before he rotted in a jail cell for years on end.

He stood up from the pole and his legs were threatening to break under pressure but he deserved it and he was holding back tears as his thoughts were broken and scattered but he stopped in the middle of the road and fell down again, unable to move, unable to breathe as a thought struck his brain.

His head bobbed up.

_No. No. No._

He just hoped that he was wrong as he stood up once again, not caring about the feeling of numbness in his legs as he sprinted off into the shadows of the night.

_NO!_

And in what seemed like hours, he was there, standing by the subway and his eyes were glued onto the destiny that would most likely be Punk's.

_Chicago._

He stepped inside of the train and he noticed how empty it was and he realized that not many people would travel to Chicago so late at night and he stepped towards the end of the train, looking around but still, he was alone and he was horrified and scared as he sat on the floor as he punished himself, picking up pieces of glass from his stomach and gliding it through his wrists, feeling like he deserved it because he did and when they stopped at his destination, he stood up, feeling like he was going to throw up but he embraced that feeling as he walked out of the Chicago train and the unfamiliar scent and place was making him even more nauseous as the humid, sultry night smothered him as hard as it could've.

"Phil…?"

He had no more power in his voice, his voice was cracked and broken and his throat was so damn dry.

"P-Phil…?"

He was walking through the roads and the blackness of the night faded into morning as he walked towards Punk's house as he stopped in his tracks, ready to drop on his feet as he knocked on the doorway.

Punk's father was the one who opened the door.

"I-I-is Phil here?" Jeff was shaking, pressing himself to the doorway so that he wouldn't fall asleep on the floor.

"He was here about a time ago," the man responded. "He seemed pretty upset. He wouldn't tell us what was wrong. Just that he needed to stay here the night. Woke up this morning, he was gone."

Jeff was ready to pound himself.

Punk _was_ here.

But he was too late, wasn't he?

He stood up, trying to support himself as he walked, ready to go to the nearest restaurant so that he could eat something and thirty minutes later, he was still eating through pasta but after the first ten bites, he felt nauseous and he embraced that feeling too as he looked around the restaurant and walking outside, he felt as if there was no hope there. He was so ready to turn himself in.

He walked towards the police station and confessed his crime and he would be in court and waiting for more additional details and he stuck his head out to see the image of his Punk. His beautiful, beautiful Phil was standing there with slutty clothes and messed up hair and there was a bottle of something in his hands as he hiccupped.

"Phil?" Jeff whispered and he watched as Punk walked towards him. Those sad brown eyes of his were liquid with craziness and he was jumping up and down as he brought the bottle to his lips.

He took Punk's wrist and gripped it loosely. "Phil, baby?"

Punk let out a bubbly laughter as he crashed the bottle to the floor and since the window was open, Jeff peered his head out and Punk engulfed him into a kiss and Jeff could taste a strong something in Punk's mouth as he pulled him off. "Phil, baby? What are you doing?"

Punk giggled, grabbing onto Jeff's hair and pressed his lips to Jeff's once more so that Jeff could taste the toxic liquid in Punk's mouth.

"Phil…baby…are you _drunk_?"

Seeing Punk like this, ready to turn to alcohol had concerned Jeff harder than anything could've, seeing Punk ready to throw his life to sex and drugs and alcohol was just too much for him to bare. Punk was fighting, hated alcohol more than ever, yet right now, he was standing here, as drunk as ever and Jeff wanted nothing more than to hold onto him as he watched Punk lean down and throw up violently on the floor.

"Phil…"

"Don't go. It hurts. They all want to hurt me."

He didn't really understand a word coming out of Punk's mouth, those insane brown eyes dilating and twitching as he stared at Jeff's and Jeff nodded his head. "Okay, I won't go."

Jeff was shoved backwards and his grip on Punk wasn't enough and in seconds, he was ripped away from Punk's grip, looking at those once crazy eyes as they melted into sad eyes, "you just said that you won't let go…" Punk reached out but Jeff couldn't reach out for him and Jeff was being pulled away from Punk. His Punk. His baby.

Jeff watched, slowly drowning into dizziness, his thoughts all on those sad brown eyes as his eyelids just dropped…

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	4. Last Part: Silently, Quietly

**Well, the last chapter, what more can I say?**

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****Last Part: Silently, Quietly**

Jeff stayed in his jail cell, pressing his head towards the bars as he went over the crime he did in his head. He was going to jail and it felt right because he deserved it and he heard the sound of his jail cell being opened and as he looked up at the policeman as he pushed him out.

"W-what's going on?"

"You know the little black haired boy you raped?"

Jeff nodded his head quickly. How could he ever forget Punk? He found it hard just to push him at the back of his head, always in his thoughts as the remorse and sorrow burned inside of his body.

"He didn't press charges. You're free to go."

Jeff was almost reluctantly to walk off. No. He had to be punished in some way and when he stepped outside, the first thing he saw was Phil huddled towards a pole and looking at the empty bottle of alcohol in his hands, and from Punk's eyes, he could see that he was holding back tears. The twinkles that were glinting off his eyes just made Jeff feel too guilty as he leaned down towards Phil who was slightly shaking now.

"I just won't believe it…"

Jeff leaned down beside him, on the floor of the sidewalk, staring as Punk's empty bottle and then back at Punk, "what's wrong, Phil?"

"What's right?" Punk's words were acidic. "I'm in Chicago and the first thing I did was go into a liquor store and buy myself a bottle of tequila…Jeff, that wasn't Phil or Punk or anyone I know. I'm _straight edge_ and allowed myself to be weak enough to go buy a drink? Jeff, I don't know anything anymore! Why did I do this? That's why I left this morning. I left because last night, I got a drink and I woke up in some alley and I realize that's all I'm ever going to do right now. Just drown myself in endless bottles of alcohol. I went against _everything_ I believe in. Now…I just don't have anything to believe in."

Punk took off his armbands and pulled them to Jeff's lap, "I don't know who I am anymore. Dammit." His eyes burning with tears as he took the bottle and thrashed it at the nearest building and he heard the glass break and shatter and he was sure that his heart was following the pattern and shattering as hard as it could've.

"Phil…why didn't you press charges?"

Punk stared at the shattered glass.

"Phil, why didn't you press charges?" Jeff's voice was still soft but somehow louder than it already was.

"Because I fucking love you!"

That was what made Jeff grab onto Punk's now bare wrist and Punk's eyes locked with Jeff's who was slowly leaning down to kiss Punk's lips.

"I love you, too, Phil. I really do."

Punk looked down at the shattered glass and he pointed a shaky finger towards the damaged bottle, "I don't want to be like that, Jeff."

"No, Phil, give me a chance—"

Punk gathered himself and stood up as he walked off and Jeff was about to follow him but as he stood up, he noticed Punk had quickened his pace and Jeff knew that he didn't want Punk to be around.

Why did this have to be so difficult?

They both knew they loved each other yet they dragged themselves into the dirt and smothered themselves just because they could.

Jeff went out for a walk, trying to put together the too many emotions that were bubbling through his body. He was still ashamed of himself and to Punk, there seemed to be something in his eyes when he had told him that he loved him too, a hint of humor and he knew why right now.

_If you loved me, Jeff, you would never hurt me._

Jeff stopped in his place and looked down at his black sneakers and his black pants and his t-shirt was cherry red and he didn't look presentable and he ran towards the nearest store….he knew what he had to do right now…

* * *

Punk was on the couch, huddled in blankets and he still couldn't believe that he'd done what he'd done, that he'd actually go so low to drinking and the taste was still in his throat, sickening him and he went into the bathroom to throw up just once and he found it so damn hard not to run towards the nearest liquor store right now and in his brother's baggy black, white and red sweats, he felt like a loser.

He heard the sound of the doorbell and his father opened the door. "Ahh, Jeff."

No. He was not coming out of the bathroom because he could not face Jeff but the scent of his own vomit was sickening and he had to walk out of the room and then, when he'd seen Jeff, his heart thudded so hard in his chest at the sight of Jeff in a tuxedo with a red rose in his hands and that made Punk's heart thud two million times faster.

"Jeff, get out of here!"

"W…what? What do you want from me, Phil? I try to make it all right, baby. I really do." He kissed Punk's nose and Punk twirled Jeff around so that he could see his father who had wide eyes and an open mouth.

"Phil, get out of here. _Now_." His father coldly demanded.

Phil didn't hesitate as he walked out of the room and Jeff followed him, even guiltier than ever before. He was so stupid! He should've known all of this. Punk just stood there, silently, without a word coming out of his mouth.

"Phil…I…"

"Just get out of here, Jeff. You don't care about me. You don't love me. I just got kicked out of my father's house. I don't want to be kicked out of the state, too."

"Phil-"

"JUST GO!"

At that moment, Jeff saw the pure pain and sheer fury that was burning into Punk's eyes and before Jeff could say, he stormed off and as a car passed by quickly and loudly, sending a cold wisp of air to burn into Jeff's face.

"Phil…"

Suddenly, panic arose.

Punk had nowhere to go so where was he going now? Jeff ran in after Punk and he saw Punk at the liquor store, ready to walk in but Jeff grabbed his wrist and Punk glared coldly at him. "What the hell do you want?"

"Phil, you hate this… you hate this more than anything…so why are you doing it?"

Punk ripped his wrist away from Jeff's grip and Punk coldly glared and if looks could kill, Jeff would've been dead on the asphalt right now and Jeff felt his hot blood turn cold and his throat was filled with acid. "Look, walk into that liquor store, buy a champagne bottle, die in there for all I care, I spent two days just blaming myself for my mistake and you made me feel like I could never forgive myself, I shouldn't but the way you're acting to me, you said you loved me but you're treating me like I'm that bottle of alcohol you smashed earlier. Look at me, Punk, tell me that you love me and look me in the eyes."

Punk looked into Jeff's eyes, those green orbs that he'd fallen for as his voice cracked and Jeff walked off without another word.

He heard the sound of sobbing and Jeff twisted around seeing Punk on his knees, his arms wrapping around his stomach as tears were rolling down his cheeks as he shook and shivered and Jeff walked back towards Punk, lifting Punk's chin and Punk was shaking so much that his words were slurring, "I love you…I love you…I love you…please, just don't go…please…" with every word he said, his voice cracked even harder.

Jeff wrapped his arms around Punk's waist and he lifted him, carrying him as Punk's tears fell on Jeff's shoulders. "Baby, please…please…Philly…"

Jeff was walking, ready to talk him to the subway because right now, all Jeff needed was home.

By the time that he reached the subway station and placed Punk down, he had seen that his angel was asleep. So peaceful…his mouth was open and bits of drool were falling out of his pink mouth but Jeff knew that he couldn't ask for a better angel than Phil Brooks.

* * *

That night, Jeff was back into a hotel room, snuggling to Punk's neck but he still had to repay him somehow, he still had to make it up to him and as a thought struck his head, he grabbed onto the phone and called the police. No more than an hour later, Jeff could hear the sound of cuffs being pulled and Matt's grunts filling the floor as he was taken away and Jeff watched Punk as he slept, reluctantly to fall asleep himself as he kissed Punk's lips.

So silently.

So quietly.

There were no sounds of bottles and hearts breaking.

Just silence.

And silence smoke more than words.

A few moments later, Jeff could see Punk's eyes scanning Jeff's face.

"What happens in Chicago, stays in Chicago," Jeff says and that makes Punk giggle as he presses his head to Jeff's chest and right now, they didn't care about the drama and they knew that they wanted to be with each other no matter what. They didn't care about what happened because if they did, it will just shatter them with pain and agony.

They both knew it.

"You'll have to wait."

Jeff stared at Punk, trying to comprehend his words, "what?"

"Are you willing to wait for me until I get over this? I know that you're ready to have sex but…but I'm not."

"Phil, I'll wait for you."

Both of their eyes locked with each other.

"I love you so much, Phil."

"I love you, too, Jeff."

Those words meant the world to them.

Punk cuddled in Jeff's arms, both of them just staring into each other's eyes, words being said…_silently… oh so quietly…_

* * *

**I'm not sure about the ending but I don't know what other way to end it. Because I'm crappy at endings. XD. Review?? Hope you enjoyed this fourshot, **_**xRey'sAngel**_**. If anyone wants a request, I'm willing to do most things. ;)**

**X Sam.**


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